faith: a story in pictures

Recent events have left me feeling sad and hurt and small, like I am rattling around the universe without a purpose. At times I question whether God truly is aware of me.

I feel alone, bitter, tempted to give up. I think to myself, "Why bother? If God truly cared about you, would He allow you to feel this way?" 

"Look at Him, so far away, allowing so much cruel calamity in the world. Look at the darkness closing in on that insignificant little cross."

"He's left you alone there to drown in the abyss."

But that's not what He says.

I know that, even in my darkest hours when I feel utterly alone, He is ministering to me.

And not just Him, but ministering servants, angels, on both sides of the veil between this life and the great beyond.

He will leave the ninety and nine to come find me, the one, when I am lost.

Even when I am guilty of enormous ingratitude, even when I reject His help completely in my hurt and anger, He carries me.

And so, in light of all this...

...I push away the lying voice, gather the shreds of my faith, and hold on for dear life.

I try to trust Him and His plan for me, instead of trying to control everything.

And in coming days, I will grit my teeth and fight. Hard.

Because I know with all my heart that the Tree of Life is up there on the horizon, and I don't want to get in my own way.

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you."

~1 Peter 5:6-10 (ESV)

***All images and their sources can be found on my Pinterest here.***